How to Rise and Shine Bright after despair.

I never imagined that I would be forced to walk this path but now that I am on my way, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Never mind that 2020 has been a hot mess, let’s add getting fired from your job of almost 15 years. Yup. That’s my story.

I have been in law enforcement for over 17 years and have served at the pleasure of 3 different State Attorneys. In Florida, the State Attorney is an elected official. Whenever a newly elected State Attorney transitions into the office, they have the option to terminate whoever they feel like. Let’s just say this time around, I didn’t make the cut.

I had just returned home from Thanksgiving break when I was greeted by a very impersonal letter from the State Attorney-elect. I had been terminated effective January 2021. I can honestly say that I was truly devastated.

An overwhelming feeling of fear and embarrassment overcame me. What the hell do I do? I’m a single mom. I have a home, car, bills. And the thoughts of despair continued.

That despair turned into anger especially when all I kept hearing was, “everything happens for a reason”, or, “when one door closes another one opens.” It’s been a few weeks and now I understand but at that moment, I just wanted to punch something.

So what does a single mother who is highly trained and educated in her field do? I decided to discover and re-invent myself. I started this blog to help other law enforcement officers not only express themselves but to also see that they are not alone. I see you and will always support you.

In the midst of sharing my story, thoughts and opinions, I have discovered a new love of writing. Through writing, I have discovered that I have been silent and stagnant for a long time. And then I couldn’t help but wonder? How many other law enforcement officers share the same feeling?

We are constantly updated at work with social media policy changes. We are not allowed to completely and freely express ourselves because we must watch out for the masses and not “offend” anyone.

So how does one rise and shine after despair?

1. Be sad but not for too long. It is okay to embrace your feelings of despair, sadness, anger and whatever other feelings you got going on. But!! not for too long. I have learned that those emotions can only bury you if you choose to stay there. Find something that makes you feel good and do that.
2. Brainstorm. Most of my colleagues reached out and offered to help me get on another police department. While I was grateful to have such great colleagues, I chose to sit down and brainstorm about what the heck I was really good at. I have been in the criminal justice field for most of my life so this step is still in the making.
3. Believe in yourself. This is a given. But to those who have been conditioned to believe that being a cop is the only field that they’re good at…guess what? there is a whole world out there that can benefit from our specialized skills. We are detail-oriented, huge motivators and great sales people. Don’t forget, we wear different hats every day.
4. Meditate. Our lives have been turned upside down. The pressures of society will take a toll on your physical and mental health. This is a must and it should be non-negotiable.
5. Practice self-care. Many of us take despair and disappointment as a reason to stop caring for ourselves. Developing a routine such as exercise, healthy eating and spending quality time with family is sometimes the only recipe that will work.

Whatever it is that has caused you despair, I am here to tell you that it will pass.